Being True to Myself
(This blogpost was originally intended for my 3 months on HRT recap, but barely any changes happened, so I'll just do a summary at the bottom for that!)
You know, I don't like being called things that I don't think I really am, even if they're positive things (such as being "Famous/Popular"), for me it feels like being forced to put on a mask to represent what they mean, and I've already worn too many masks in the past.
But if they're being positive with that, then why I don't like it? Why does it feel so wrong?
... I couldn't really tell at first glance, but then I remembered some things that happened a year ago or so.
Back then some friends used to call me a furry often, even if I felt at the time that I wasn't one, but they kept pushing for it, and it stuck with me, making me feel like I had no saying on this. There's also another specific friend that called me a foot fetishist just because I drew my sona bare-footed at the time?? That one definitely killed my mood to be in there for a bit, just because I draw my sona bare-footed doesn't mean I'm a fetishist for it.
The point is, that I felt I was stuck with those words that supposedly represented me, and I had no say on what I was comfortable with. After a while I kinda managed to change that, but the things that happened prior stuck with me, like it always happens.
I guess I am a furry now though, but back then I felt uncomfy with being called that, and I'm pretty sure that being always called something I was not pushed me from it for a while.
(This probably means that I'd hate being called an egg too, but I've never experienced being called that to be honest)
The same thing keeps on happening now, but with other words that, even if they're positive, feels like I'm faking it if I accept them.
There's gotta be a way to change this, a way to actually appreciate these, but I didn't really have much luck with this.
But then... Why is the title of this blogpost called "Being True to Myself"? Because honestly, I might never be able to fit with the expectations of others, I might never be able to fit with those words they think I am, but that's fine, my life is about me and myself primarily, and I must live life like I really want to, not to comform to what others might think.
Sure, sometimes I might come to terms with certain stuff that I was called, but until that happens (or not), I'll just keep on being myself, and that's who I really want to be.
...
Oh, you want the summary for the HRT thing I said at the start? well you see, have you heard about Jane Booba-
-AnubiArts, finally accepted themselves.